AdventWord::Befriend

Befriended.

I've learned something with these earnest friends. Love requires presence and the ability to see the (inherent) value of the other. 

Befriending and living in friendship, or relationship, can be so much more simple if we keep it thus. We carry our needs and wants, expectations and demands into relationship. I'm working to enter each encounter with gratitude for who the other is in my life before anything else. It requires being awake to the moment. (A worthwhile task.) And in that, I have a change to encounter the beauty of God's creation within you.

He comes for petting and sometimes, my hands/our hands and minds are too full. Other times, the boy lays on the floor. Available. An undemanding and forgiving friendship ensues.

CReATE Studio Fun!

If you're going to celebrate with pumpkins, take a little inspiration from my friend Jemma who owns a fantastic creative space called CReAte STUDIO.
It's in Westlake Village, California. Full of fun and inspiration and things to, well, create!

The space was inspired by a trip to a children's museum where Jemma and her girls had fun in the craft zone. It was on her mind, from that moment on, that kids (and parents) need a place like this, to use all manner of recyclables to make art. Being the get-it-done gal she is, Jemma started her studio business not long after. Her sight has lots of fab kid creations and shows some beautiful Women's Night art, too.

Her Etsy shop is all about a CReATE it yourself project. Go see!


What are you creating?

A Garden Party

Tonight the neighbors will gather on the lawn at John & Mary's for a pre-4th celebration. John will haul his barbecue from the backyard out to the driveway and the various sons will set up tables and chairs. Mary and Marjorie and I will bring out the linens and things and candles, candles, candles and voila! The 3rd of July.

We'll have lots of kids from 6 to 22 and plenty of loud fun.

Mary's yard has a fabulous peach tree that calls for summer enjoyment. We sit under it on weekend mornings for coffee and chatting. It's the relaxing time in my week.

Tonight, each family will bring their own meat and two other contributions. So, I'm thinking of making this Skirt Steak with Chimichuri. My girlie wants Opa Fish and she wants to whip up Aunt Nancy's Apple Pie in a Brown Paper Bag and Aunt Margaret's World Famous Potato Salad.

I have some beautiful Angelcots from Frieda's and think there's an Angelcot tart coming our way. Angelcots might be the perfect apricot. They're new to me and apparently available for a very short window at Ralph's and Trader Joe's. They are white and sweet with a delicate apricot flavor and also a hint of a buttery flavor. I think they'll be wonderful with a pate sucre or puffed pastry and a little creme Anglaise. (You'll find all these recipes and pix over at What Am I Cooking? later in the week. My other darling Mary-friend has a rhubarb sangia recipe up now. Yum. Yum.)

So we will enjoy. And hope your 4th celebrations are great.

February 26 - I Love:: My Heart Necklace

 

Nine years ago my girlfriend and I took a summer driving trip with our kiddos up the coast of California to our other friend's house in St. Helena. As the warm summer days presented, we shared lots of laughter and walks and trips to the country club pool. We dined and shopped and on the second day or so this necklace caught my eye. The language, the weight, even the length of the chain spoke to me. 

I toyed with buying it. And on the very last day, my pal, Jemma, got us into the car and took us back to the store. She urged me to consider the value of this one purchase vs. the several souvenirs I could buy. She pushed the concept of the lasting value of something like this that touched me so deeply. 

I've worn it most days ever since. 

Sometimes I listen and I'm blessed.

February 6 - I Love:: My friend Joan (& Happy Birthday)

I'll keep it short.
She's got a laugh that makes you happy even if you're not.
And my son wants to hear her talk for her accent and lilt. (Just a bit Irish.)
She cares about what she does and makes what we do interesting.
She acknowledges that we have to be conscious of being conscious.
We had our babies at the same time and met in a mother's group.
We've weathered losses and gains together and separately, and are much the better for the togethers.
I'd prefer to keep her in my life forever.
In which case:
I may become more consistent in my pursuit of recycling, health and all organic concerns.
I'll ask more questions, like she does.
I'll get to have her husband, who I also love much, carve my turkeys - and regale me with tales.
I'll be with her most beautiful, interesting and utterly charming daughter, who'd I'd take if she'd let me.
I'll feel normal not using a microwave and pitching all the plastic for food storage containers.
I'll read all the E. M. Forrester books, too.
And I'll spend time in the canyon where I feel an extra modicum of peace.
Ah, Joan.
Happy Birthday, beautiful friend.

PS: Happily, this is post 250. I think we'll have to celebrate with a little giveaway later in the week, 'eh?

BFFs backward

These could be us. The Santa Monica Moms who celebrated birthday breakfast last week. OK, there are really six of us, but the one across the Atlantic Ocean and the one in Northern California weren't with us.
The SoCal four and our kiddos stick pretty close when we can. And if we'd known each other at this age, we'd very likely be these gals. They are lovely in their finery and I see a little of each of us in the one we might look a bit like! (Me? Hands on hips with the pink boa for sure.)

Silly.
Joyful.
Astute.
Fashionable.
And a bit saucy.

Who wouldn't want to be friends with these gals?

Quotable Sunday

"I had no idea! Really! I thought it was just going to be us!"

-Michelle, as she sat down for a party of 8 surprise birthday breakfast

The Breakfast Surprise Party

This morning we surprised Michelle, one of my mama pals, with a day after birthday breakfast. We pulled it off, we moms and our girls. My girlie and me, Jemma and gals, Joan and her sweet, and  - Michelle. Michelle is a mom of boys. So, isn't it lovely she could be surrounded by girls to celebrate her day?

Jemma provided the flowers from her garden and I wish you could see how great these red tables look.

The saucer holds remnants of the French Macaroons. Salted Caramel and Chocolate, I believe.

Celebrating should be mandatory.

Maybe every Saturday.

There's so much to be glad for. Especially when you're one of five who love being moms together.

And La Provence is a wonderful place to enjoy.

Apples in the country.

It started here in Colonial Chesterfield - Riley's Farm in Oak Glen, CA. It is one of the most beautiful places in the state.



While you may drive up in a four wheeled wonder, you move into the 1700s when you cross into the farm. We've enjoyed much fun here in the past, including a Revolutionary War re-enactment, but that is not this story.

On this day we started with lunch at the Hawk's Head pub including music of the Colonies whilst being served by costumed maidens with British accents.

Then we headed off for our mission: picking apples.

Shenanigans and hi jinx ensued.

And yet, we found the mother load.

And then some.

And apples, beautiful, crisp, fresh and yummy,  came home.
The pumpkins are Part 2.

Food Friday - My favorite Vinaigrette - oh, but I repeat myself

Last night I shared dinner with my lovely friends. Our topic is Simplicity for the Soul, so, I brought a simple salad (see what I did there?) I tossed a little arugula, baby greens, a firm, chopped Ricotta Salata and Heirloom Tomatoes. And topped it with my favorite Dijon Vinaigrette and was reminded, this recipe truly is perfection. If all you have to keep in your pantry is Grey Poupon, Apple Cider Vinegar and good, rich, extra virgin olive oil, you'll never have to buy dressing. Ever. In your life. Pretty pure and pretty yummy. It's also quite versatile.

Here's a link to the recipe for Sheri and I'll recommend these variations:

• Switch vinegars to Rice Wine vinegar, it's milder, tender and subtle, doesn't require so much of the salad
• Throw in pico de gallo for a Mexicany flavor (crush tortilla chips and add avocados to the salad - it's also good as a French dip for tortilla chips)
• Pour it over the Cafe Un Deux Trois  salad: romaine, chopped Granny Smith apples, walnuts, crumbled blue cheese (I beg you, hand crumble, the ready-crumbled stuff has a powdery texture). I note they now serve this with endive, but the original recipe was with romaine. It has a good crisp bite.

Do you have a favorite, workhorse dressing?

This pretty salad is found here. I sure wish they had a location on the left coast.

Quotable Sunday - My husband

"It doesn't matter if you can type 100 words a minute, you need to check your spelling."

My husband, and the spelled-perfect author of Rotation and Balance.

More thoughts on breakfast in pajama's ~ with Marjorie.

My husband made a sardonic comment about people using their blogs to talk about what they just ate. Something about how that's what Facebook is for. I had to laugh. My post this last Saturday was about breakfast at my friend Marjorie's. We ate the Spanish Eggs I prepared.

It made me think about the post and about how the remarkable thing is gathering the elements of this communal breakfast mid-morning, and walking across the street and a few doors down to cook with my friend in our pajamas.

It, somehow, whispers of college days. Or camping or something other than this gentrified life in the suburbs. It speaks of collusion. Secret fun. Withheld-then-released joyousness.

I thought about it and wondered why it was so darned much fun. So meaningful. Why I've kinda savored it for this last day or so. I think I understand that the cooking business and the pajamaness made it familiar and casual and cozy. Marj and I have known each other for 10 years so, the friendie part is natural. But the conspiratorial part, where we opted to drag brushes through our hair, but that was it, made it the special thing is was.

In all this over-thinking I realized, there was a missing person in the mix. The dad. The husband. The man of the house. This is to say, the cat was away and the mice were cooking. That's where the fragrance of - getting away with a long and lazy day in the company of those who prefer to remain in sleepwear drinking tea and shooing away kids of all ages - emanates. The freedom of a husbandless weekend day.

Note well, my husband of choice is the love of my life for life. My pal and adventure buddy.  I am reminded here,  that God made men and they are handsome and sturdy and great. Great. Fabulous. Wonderful.

But then, there is nothing like a girlfriend, and nothing, nothing like a girlfriend who's a mama working the trenches and open to frivolity on a found Saturday.

Breakfast at Marjorie's

My girlfriend sent me a little text this morning with a mid-morning query, "Where's my friend?" which led to, the whatcha doin', didjya eat, wanna have breakfast conversation. I dragged a brush through my hair, grabbed my youngest and these fixin's and scooted down the street. Her team was mostly in pj's and gravitated to the TV room with my girl while Marj and I got after the side by side breakfast business. She made her soon-so-be-world famous crunchy, fluffy waffles while I turned this green bowl goodness into my current favorite breakfast: Spanish Eggs.

I've happily shared the original recipe. Oh, but I deviate and suggest you do to - with great gusto! Red peppers, green, yellow, minced carrots, more onions, add 'em in. It is a delicious way to enjoy a shirred or poachy kind of egg. And best served with good friends, great conversations and today, pear tea.
Saturday mornings all around, I say!

Spatchcocked Chicken Night

You can't imagine the fun we had last night making this unbelievably easy and unreasonably delicious dish. It may be the 7th wonder of the food world.

Our dear friends, the one's we call, "Group"  (five families, nine kids and thirteen years of infectious affection), gathered last night for a pool and dinner party. Kids were everywhere - ranging from 10 to 14. Parents came from as far as 300 miles away for the event. (This is close to full compliment with a family out of the country.)

Of course, we all had responsibility for a dish and the host made scrumptious chicken, from a MS Everyday recipe. We, of course, went right into Julia Child mode discussing the merits of a Spatchcocked Chicken, the method, ("First you spatchcock the chicken by running a knife down it's back...") loudly and joyfully.  It is the most delicious chicken I've EVER eaten. No exaggeration and, I'm posting the recipe.

Just in case you don't know the cooking term to Spatchcock (which I only vaguely recalled and couldn't define very well) is an Irish term and refers to the removal of the backbone and flattening of a chicken for the purpose of rapid cooking. (We could call it butterflying, but Spatchcock has so much more gusto.) You can also use it to refer to something dispensed with quickly. Good word.

Beyond the chicken what I loved most about this night was the play occurring all over the house. There were men with cellphones and cameras and apps all kibitzing about new and better and what's next. The kids swam and worked in the studio or performed well-choreographed dance routines and the moms stood around the kitchen laughing and talking and cooking and making friendship bracelets. Friends for life friendship bracelets. Good play.

Good friends. And a good night.

Photo credit: Michelle Goldstein  (our Mama G.)

Quotable Sunday ~ Friendship, again.

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden.

-- Attributed to Claudia Ghandi

I am blessed, beyond blessing with the friends God has given me. Those close at hand and those close in heart. I am more blessed than I can find language to express.

And I am grateful for my lovely friendship garden.

Quotable Sunday ~ Friendship

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.  
- C. S. Lewis

My darling Jemma took this and emailed it to me. Now, there's friendship.

Waking at the Beach

I love the beach. The sound, the smell, the view. I love the changeable nature - the tide, shifting of the sand, a shell, a rock. The beach.
On Thursday, Mary suggested we drive down and join her at her family's beach house for the afternoon so we did. When we set out we had beach towels and a bag of fun groceries and pjs, for the drive home.
The kids swam and played beach badminton, we all ate beautiful pasta and haricot verts then swiftly dismissed the idea of going home, settled in to watch Chocolat and drank in this life before the ocean.
We took up space in a beautifully appointed bunkhouse. A room with three sets of white wood built-in bunk beds, each set with it's own Ralph Laurenesque bedding. I chose the vintage yellow, swiped a pillow from the missing bunkmate above and fell to sleep with the vague fragrance of saltwater on my skin.
My dear friend Mary is blessed in many, many ways. She comes from a big family where her mom and dad are to this day, each others best friend and romantic entanglement. She herself is quite crazy about her husband, and he her. She's interested, interesting, well-read and artistic in a range of executions. She's also a great friend with a the-more-the-merrier attitude about small and large gatherings.
After a morning's stroll along the beach searching for the right shaped rocks, we headed home along the coast highway. As we drove, we'd call each other to point out things along the way that related to our pasts or some delight we wanted the other to see.

This little trip over two days has become one of those reminders:

          Friendship is as essential as water.

In Search of Summer ~ Dinner on the Lawn

One favorite summer tradition in my neighborhood is dinner on the lawn. (Now, there are no pics, largely because my sonny, girlie and I took well over 500 Friday to Sunday in the north and we're giving our camera a rest. Shhh....)

For this event we seemed to celebrate Memorial Day goes Cinco de Mayo. Carne Asada, Pollo, Carnitas, Hueraches tortillas, cojita cheese, grilled peppers, cebollitas and apple pie. The neighbors and the other neighbors and kiddies old and young, the cars and friends who just drop by all joined and enjoyed.

We'll do this all summer now. Candles, conversation, tables and tablecloths, beach chairs, a big grill in the driveway and friendship that grow with the wakings and the moving about of each day. It's rich. It's never the same. There are throw in evenings, fancy evenings and ordering pizza evenings.

This marks the beginning of summer for us.

When I asked my kindergarten friend Jessica what her happy thought for this vacation day would be she just said, "this." I have to agree with her. This lawn gathering with my pals is my happy thought, too.

A morning in the garden ~ The Name is Mom

I found myself in Mary's garden this morning for coffee. My friend, Mary is gifted with eyes to see things that aren't there - yet. So, a few weeks ago, I noticed the addition of an avocado-flesh colored market umbrella in the front yard of her house. In the days that followed, black winged rattan chairs, a square table and Sister Theresa hydrangeas came into place. Now mind you, this isn't the front yard. This is the garden space under the front window in front of the iceberg roses and behind the boxwoods. We become the flowers in this garden. My Dear and I have spent time over summer drinks, eating Swedish Meatballs and potatoes and chatting in this space with these dear, dear friends.

This morning, I went over in PJs with my coffee cup to savor the morning, the paper, the catching up and the over-cast to sunny morning. Mary's boys are old. High school and college old. She's experiencing that stage. Only one appeared. A while into our languorous and chatty, morning state, Marjorie joined. (With her orchid oolong tea and the amazing mesh infuser.)

And then, the onslaught, Bob the most elegant neighbor alive, in his pressed jeans and cane ready for his hike, Liz, on her way to doing Ann's garden, Marjorie's cat-like and beautiful eldest girl, who is younger than my youngest, and her baby who is decidedly six. Touching base, enjoying our enjoyment and liking the idea of a day beginning with time for sitting in the garden.

We didn't really talk about much Mom stuff. Mary's on a brilliant design project for friends with a rental to be dressed in Laguna. Marjorie, who's working on a Master's in design herself, is looking forward to an elegant evening tonight at a benefit and is acting as a tour docent tomorrow. I'm thinking about plantings, sprucing and reading. Our kiddos are in a musical the next two nights.

The morning reminded me of this: the other mothers, those how have been and are still going along, my path are the one's who breathe the sweetest fragrance into my days. An hour in their presence can be like a day.

Who are the other Mothers, the gals you connect to and what do they bring?

The Other Moms ~ Michelle ~ The Name is Mom

The mom journey for me has been lightly dusted with great girlfriends. Could we live without them? Oh no, we could not, nor would we want to.

So, let's talk about Michelle today, shall we? Michelle came with my first child. She and her darling husband were in our Lamaze class. They were expecting their numero uno and so were we. Somehow in the two classes I attended (read: bed rest) they decided my dear and I might make good friends. And she was right.

We both ended up having boys, eleven days apart. They boys consider the hospital visit to see our new baby the first real play date.

Mich and I were invited to join a mothers group when the boys were a couple of months old and the treasured friendships solidified.

Many, many years later, this gal, her husband and two boys are practically family. When my daughter celebrated her birthday a while ago, she expected to meet the G's for dinner. We did. My girlie is the only daughter in the bunch, so she's well celebrated and loves it. Michelle "passed on" beautiful 14K gold ladybug earrings. Practically family.

What's in the friendship? Well, fun frankly. And strength and courage and capacity to do things beyond anything I've ever been called to do or continue doing.

In the time we've been friends we've shared many unexpected experiences. Together we have laughed hard (at Michelle's urgings) over the ridiculous ways people complicate parenting, cried over marriage issues, lost her precious mom way, way to soon, learned to let things go, moved (us to a city 30 miles away).watched our men changing jobs, learned that her youngest had a brain tumor, walked through the what and how and surgery of it, giggled in restaurants, changed careers, played at the beach, played in parks, watched tons of movies, walked through the loss of my dad, celebrated a Bar Mitzvah, wondered how we got here and remain grateful for the grace of a friendship made of very strong fibers.

She is absolutely remarkable. When her youngest was diagnosed, I was on a business trip in Washington. She called me and I sat in the airport millions of miles away unable to do anything but listen and love. The words were incomprehensible. But Michelle knew that we'd walk through it, me praying fiercely while holding her hand and her doing what she had to do. We did just that. Her little dude is fabulous. Riding bikes, telling (bad) jokes. Seeking the start of his acting career. He celebrated his sixth surgiversary and stares doctors in the face, like obstacles in his path.

His mom has shown him how to size a situation up for what it is. To laugh at the impracticalities and complexities and to keep moving.

She's good at it. The night I had surgery for my broken shoulder, Michelle was there with my husband. She was the friend with her hand on my forehead when I came out of surgery. Gently stroking my, oh so very out of it, head.

Really, could we live without the mom's in our lives? Not this one. She's grace and humor and dignity and joy. Oh Happy Mom's Day to the friend who is Michelle.