September 04, 2009

Observe the shape of the heart

On a summer trip with my dear friend visiting our dear friend, we poked our selves into a little store with wonderful pieces designed by hand and intended to delight the eye. A beautiful silver heart with a lovely poem on a long, heavy silver chain whispered from inside the glass cabinet and started making promises about a life together. I loved it the moment I saw it. I loved it as I looked at it. And when the proprietor let me hold it. When I tried it on and when I asked the price handing it back. I continued to love it after we left the store and when we were all at the table eating and when all the parents and the children were in bed  and in the mornings and days that followed. I was using my rational price vs. value mind when I wrestled with the idea of taking it home and when we went to the store to look again. To hold it. To wrestle.
Finally my dear friend looked at me with her dear friend wisdom pouring out all over and said, "you might need to buy this just because you like it so much."
I did. And it has been with me for several years, bringing me much joy. Worn over sweaters and T-shirts. To the theater and management meetings and kiddie parties. It's become a symbol of love and faith for me.
It's been lost and found more than once. Once it was given to a friend who asked simply if she could have it. Much was learned in the process. Giving whatever is asked of you in a Book of Luke kind of way. She learned about what she was supposed to do over the weekend of ownership and gave it back to me with a letter of love.
Recently it went missing for a good 6 months and when I finally decided to let it go, my husband came to me and made me close my eyes when he dripped the heavy metal thing back into my hands. It had been lodged between the dresser and the wall in an unfortunate dusting accident. He gave me back my heart. So the necklace became a gift to me. But not in the purchasing. It was in the vision of my dear friend and in the returning that the shiny silver heart has shaped the way I see it. By its weight, its words and its homecomings.
Jeanine Payer is an amazing jewelry designer. Check her webstore or head to San Francisco.

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