I enjoy being a girl ~ The Name is Mom

A couple of weeks ago my girlie and I had a some time to visit a wonderful craft fair.
We spent the morning looking at beautiful paper crafts, hand thrown ceramics, beautiful baby outfits, chai tea powder, hand painted jewelry, crochet baby headbands, purses, blankets and even cute, cute aprons. We bought a couple of gifts for our new baby cousin. And the two of us went "halfsies" on a beautifully painted necklace of a monkey playing a violin (something like this).  We left around lunchtime, happy with our purchases and glad to have seen some friends we enjoy in the process.

As we drove home, we passed a little storefront I'd never seen before, but my doll was aware of - Elise's Tea Room. Apparently, she almost had tea there with a former favorite babysitter. So we stopped. It is amazing what a Tea Room can do to a 'tween. In braces, jeans and a sweatshirt, my girl was transformed into a little lady. Off came the sweatshirt and she asked to wear my scarf which she threw over her shoulder. We poured from our tea pots, ate lovely sandwiches, shared a salad and talked about tea in England. We noticed just how lovely it is to be lovely. We noticed the dress of those around us, the flavor of the blueberry in her tea and the currant in mine. We watched as the shop owner stopped at every table.
We're planning to go back. Perhaps with a couple of friends. Or maybe we'll just go back and enjoy being who we are. We've decided that we should make a point of stopping at home, sometime in the afternoon to have a cup of tea.
I know what I loved the most. Being the mom of a sweet girl who leaned into the loveliness in the air of a tea room.

Guest Blogger, New Blogger, Meghan ~ The Name is Mom

There's a new blogging gal on the block and this musing on motherhood is her inaugural post.
I hope you'll stop by and visit Meghan at The Brain Frame:

~.~.~

My little Ella is 9 months old. She's lived as long outside as she did inside. I've heard a comedic statistic: "90% of the population was unplanned." Ella is one of those 90%. My husband and I were in the crucible of life: differentiating ourselves from each other, moving through personal past pains and how they were affecting our married life. We had divorce pounding at all doors around us: my husband's brother as well as his mother were in the midst of divorce proceedings. The terror and guilt (yes, guilt) I felt at discovering I was pregnant still leaves me jealous of those moms from whom I hear jubilant and tear-filled excitement over their announcements. I look forward to the day when I am that expectant mother.

A close friend jokingly suggested that we name our daughter-to-be Phoenix, a beauty rising out of the ashes of life around us. We decided (not only do we live in Arizona, and felt that it would have just been too cliche) that it was a bit too 'out there' for our little one. While we chose a more traditional name, I still see the image of the mythical Phoenix as a picture of her. She is strong, independent, fiery, full of life and of a spirit that absolutely amazes me. As she moves into life--which is destined to be full of her own pains and struggles--she will come to a place where she will build her own pyre, step into it, and emerge reborn, stronger, more beautiful, and more determined than she ever imagined she was capable of being. She is my hero.

Although the anticipation was full of fear, stepping into the roll of mother was just perfect. Having Ella has changed me in so many ways--ways that I didn't even know I needed to change, needed to discover, or had the capacity to do. For many years I have hung onto Psalm 27:13 as a life promise: "I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Years ago I found this and wondered what it actually might look like for me. And with Ella, every moment of my days is that promise, fulfilled to the fullest extent that I couldn't have even imagined. She is the goodness of the Lord in this land of the living, and at times I can't even bear the joy that fills my heart. She is the beauty grown from the ashes of my life.

My Phoenix, my Goodness, My Ella.

You not gonna tell me what a do! ~ The Name is Mom

I have volumes to share about Mother Daughter Camp with my girl this weekend, and will, but I have to stop here first. When my eldest was three, and this is dipping back into history about ten years, dynamics in my mommie life had changed. Baby sister was here and I had gone from smooth as silk, easy breezy, mom to harried, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SERVE TWO? Mom, without even a breath. I was the definition of overwhelmed and decided I probably never was a very good mom. Just as I began to let the idea that perhaps this was just a phase and that I'd grow into this new job, my son changed too.
He went from, smooth as silk, easy breezy, two to YIKES MY WORLD HAS CHANGED AND SO HAVE I, three.
Hopelessly, I was removing him from the kitchen swing previously referred to as the refrigerator door and scolding him out of the kitchen and through the living room and down the long hallway to the bedroom when he turned on his heals and stopped and stood squarely at me saying, "You not gonna tell me what a do!"
Oh my, that was The End.
 
No more perfection.
Not in me and not in him.
(Poor Sissy-doll never had a chance.)
Today, as I think about it, I remember someone in my head loudly screaming something while I laughed at the absurdity of the transaction.
Perfect.
I took a long, deep breath.
The I'VE GOT THIS PARENTING THING DOWN mom left our house in the instant and the WELL, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH THIS mom arrived.
I like the illusion of that perfect mom. She was cute and sweet and fairly easy going.
Or was she me, enjoying the ride and never really getting it all that right?
I think the latter.
And I believe that the real answer in all of this is I'm best at being a Wisdom-for-the-moment Mom. That's the mom I chose to be, The Wisdom-for-the-moment mom.
The title is the job description, and it suits me well.
Thankfully.